The regrettable duty of informing the public of this grave tragedy has fallen on me. Sadly, it appears all men with the hots for transwomen are, in fact, gay. I know we all wanted to avoid this. None of us wants to injure these men's egos—so precious, and snowflake like in their fragility—but I believe that, together, we can overcome this.
What's wrong, after all, in identifying with liking chicks—so of course it's totally straight!—even if her having a raging boner makes it so much better? These men might otherwise enjoy the advantages of cismale heteronormative privilege—probably whiteness too, especially if only an Asian ladyboy will do. Who wants to deny them that? But, alas, they never had a right to it, after all.
These men are not only gay, they're lisping, limp-wristed sissies and probably closet transvestites themselves. It's sad to see them tainted by the miasma of queerness, doomed to the pariah status of those they get off on, but I firmly believe the truth will help us heal.
Identity is, unfortunately, not relevant. Ask any transwoman. Would that by identifying as women we could enjoy all the rights and protections of this already underprivileged group! Likewise, were I to identify as a cismale—who just so happens to be long-haired, feminine, and regularly dressed as a lady, for the last twelve years, while on hormones (but less since the orchi)—were it possible that any time I put up with some rudeness (or systematic structural violence) I could immediately spare myself by explaining, “You have it all wrong! I'm a completely normal man, I just live like this because I prefer to,” I would. Sadly, what makes me a transwoman is that people treat me with all the shabbiness of one.
But let's not get distracted by the issues of transpeople—being forced to navigate a medical system bent on punishing us for existing or being overwhelmingly targeted by hate crimes—let's return to the real victims here: the cismen who want to choke on my dick. Isn't it terrible that they should have to deal with the stigma of queerness simply for directing their male gaze at people like myself to whom such miserable treatment rightly belongs?
We'd all love to honor these men's desire to have me pound their prostates (not happening) but if we let that slide soon we'd get guys into beards, baldness, and studly pectorals—then we'd have to give straightness to everybody! If two queer-dykes could marry and call it straight, with all the demographic benefits that entails, why wouldn't they? How is society to function without ranks of desperate and disenfranchised persons struggling on the margins? How will the rest be kept in check?
The tranny chasers shall simply have to content themselves with sharing the underprivileged status of those they would turn to their sexual uses. Perhaps they can take solace in knowing they will never be quite as inferior as we are. Certainly, I think they would prefer that to the obligation of fighting against the injustices we face by proudly identifying with us in our plight.
Some transwomen might protest—as if this were about them—that their boyfriends being gay makes them men. If simply reiterating their sameness to ciswomen makes them impervious to transphobia, of course I urge them to continue—but I'd like to make the case that it would not be entirely undesirable for us to have gay boyfriends. After all, isn't that exactly what so many straight ciswomen want?
For me as a transwoman there is some appeal to the backwards notion of us as the storm troopers of homosexuality, turning men gay on sight. Wouldn't that be an awesome superpower? To be able to brainwash them into our sex slaves? It would certainly compensate a lot of the shit we put up with. The amazing thing is men seem to believe it. Why else would the temptation presented by a transwomen be so often met with explosive fury? This is precisely what gets us murdered.
Why should we let them tear us up like a porno mag they're ashamed? Why shouldn't we confront those who terrorize us with what they most fear? None of them have a right to the straightness they hold over our heads. Whether anyone likes it or not, our queerness is a part of their sexuality and they have to be made to man up to it.
Besides! If transwomen were just a class of elite gayboy with the power to turn guys they liked, I could have all the swishy effeminates I wanted! Normal gays show little interest in us girls, you see. We need to make the tranny chasers gay to satisfy my own private fantasies. It's a role they've forced me to play in theirs since forever so a bit of reciprocity seems only just.
If I had my way, coitus would be the gayest thing ever. It'd be like when you were a kid and the thought of boys and girls kissing made you go, “Eeeeeeeeewww!”